Today I’m going to the boys’ school. They are having a new volunteer meeting followed by their first PTO meeting. I decided that I was going to go to the PTO meeting before they announced the new volunteer meeting. So if I’m going to one, I might as well go to both.
Here’s the problem… I don’t like groups. I don’t like meeting new people. Don’t get me wrong I like meeting people, I just feel socially awkward so much of the time. I like to sit in the background and figure things out before speaking. I need to size up the situation and figure out where I fit.
This has made it hard moving here. We don’t know anyone. I’m trying when we are at the new house to meet and talk to the moms in the neighborhood. I know I will get along with most of them when I start talking. I am not good at small talk I guess. After answering the questions about the house and the kids I don’t always know what to say. For me, it’s always hard to find that common ground with people. I guess I never learned how to have those getting to know you conversations.
I also know I’m terrible at thinking to ask questions about the other person. They will ask me a question and I’ll answer and sometimes ask the same question back, or a similar one, but I don’t always know where to go next.
So, off to this meeting I’ll go. I’ll sit in the back and listen. Maybe contribute? Probably not. I’ll figure out if I can maybe feel comfortable to speak and meet people. I’ll try. I’ll put on a brave face and probably answer questions about my sons. I’ll see what is going on and maybe, just maybe… I will find a place where I can help.
But, one thing I can tell you for sure… I’ll never be a social butterfly.